Through the Process

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated, but we’ve been anything but quiet!  Over the past few months, we’ve been going through the process of a domestic infant adoption, and today was our home visit!  As of now, we are in the waiting process for a placement, and it could happen any time!

Read more about it on my other site: Chancing a Dream!

Much love,
K.

Whirlwind

journey

It’s been a month, but what a month it has been.  J and I have been planning out our cruise, and getting stuff done with work.  I’ve been traveling for work a bit, and right now I’m sitting at our offices in Wisconsin.  It’s been insanely busy, but not too stressful (which is good…normally busy = stressed in my life), and overall I’m just plugging along.

However, there have been some major changes going on!  After our failed IVF last year, we had intended on doing another cycle in February.  Then, we booked a cruise, that had us going to the Caribbean, and with the Zika virus outbreak and scare going on, we weren’t comfortable trying to get pregnant prior to going into a potential hot bed for the virus.  So, we decided to push off IVF until after we returned from the cruise, since my meds weren’t going to expire any time soon.

And that was all good and well.  I mean, it wasn’t ideal or anything, but we would have handled it.  But honestly, ever since our failed IVF, I haven’t really felt very confident in this next round working.  And, while my IVF cycle was VERY easy (I didn’t have a lot of problems with the meds or the procedure), I wasn’t really keen on putting my body through all that again for little to no payout.  J and I started talking about options, and he opened up that he wasn’t overly confident in the next IVF round working as well, so we decided to just not go forward with it.  With both of us feeling defeated before we even began, it didn’t make much sense to throw so much time and money at the issue, not to mention medical procedures that have a level of risk involved.

Which left us with a few different options.  We considered embryo adoption for a short while, but decided that we weren’t really interested in going down that path.  I am not really tied to the idea of being pregnant, only in being a mother, so at the end of the day I’d be fine skipping pregnancy altogether.  Once we discussed that, the decision was pretty clear…we were moving on to adoption!

And, with that…here we are.  We’ve started the home study process with our chosen adoption agency, and are in the midst of gathering mountains of paperwork.  Luckily, it’s all pretty easy to compile, except for our background checks from when we lived in the Netherlands.  That’s requiring a bit more finagling than I initially realized, but thankfully we have good friends who are Dutch and have been helping us out.  We’re very excited to be moving forward down this path, and can’t wait to bring home a baby!!  It feels right, which only adds to the excitement of it all.  Hopefully, the process will move smoothly and we’ll be growing our family shortly!

Much love,
K.

Egg Retrieval Day!

Bright and early this morning was egg retrieval.  After 8 days of stims, I had 18 follicles that were growing in various stages, and was feeling very much like an overstuffed turkey.  The trigger shot went really well (J was a pro)and I was left to worry about the actual retrieval.  I won’t lie, I was NERVOUS about the retrieval.  I was concerned about the pain, concerned about the unknown, and just overall freaking out about it.

Well…it’s been about 10 hours since the retrieval, and I can honestly say it wasn’t anything like I thought it would be.  The hardest part of it all was getting the IV in (unfortunately, nothing to eat/drink after midnight last evening, so I as dehydrated), and that took three tries and two blown veins.  But, after that, it was such a smooth process!

I arrived an hour earlier than my retrieval time.  During that point, I got checked in, got dressed in my uber sexy gown and surgical cap, got my IV put in, and spoke with the anesthesiologist and the biologist who would be doing the ICSI and biopsies for PGS.  Then, I went to pee again (these people are SERIOUS about empty bladders), and strutted my stuff into the surgical room.  I laid down on the bed, and was talking to my doctor while they strapped down my arms, and that is honestly the last thing I remember.  Next thing I know, I’m back in the prep room with Jamie, and working to wake up (very groggy, I won’t lie).

Overall, out of 18 follicles, there were 11 mature eggs (which is more than I could have hoped for).  I’ll get a fertilization report tomorrow morning on how many of those are showing signs of fertilization, which is the first major hurdle.  After waking up, I was really pleased to realize I had ZERO nausea, and only very mild tenderness in my abdomen.

After I woke up enough to drag my sorry butt out of the clinic, J and I went to breakfast.  I INHALED some serious breakfast…an omelet, salad, and toast from my favorite brunch place.  Divine!

So…After all this, I can say we’re coming up on the end of Stage One: IVF.  I have three more days of Ganirelix, to shut down my ovaries, and 10 days of Provera to induce my next cycle, but since we’ll be doing a freeze all cycle, it’s pretty easy and downhill from here.

I’ll be sure to update tomorrow on a fertilization report, but please keep your fingers crossed for good news!!

Much love,
K.

Stims and Trigger…

Sorry that I haven’t posted as frequently as I did in the beginning of stims.  To tell the truth, it was more of the same.   The Follistim was easy, the Menopur didn’t really burn (though did start to bruise), and the Ganirelix felt like I was stabbing myself with a spoon.  Overall, not too big of a deal.

I’ve been back and forth every other day for monitoring since Wednesday (it’s Sunday now).  I’ve seen significant growth on my follicles, and now have 18 follicles ranging in size from 9mm to 23mm.  I got a call back from the nurse, and tonight I do a Lupron + HCG trigger.  I was surprised at how exact they were…I am to give myself my first injection of Lupron at 9:15pm, and then the trigger right after that.  Then, 12 hours later (so tomorrow morning at 9:15am) I do another Lupron shot.  I also go in for blood work tomorrow morning to make sure the trigger shot worked as it was supposed to.

Egg retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday morning, at 8:15am.  I’m glad it’s early in the morning, because I know you’re not supposed to eat and I don’t want to be starving before the procedure.  I get the hanger something fierce!  I’m nervous as hell…mostly because I don’t know what to expect.  I’m hoping that I don’t have too much pain afterwards, but they are retrieving a large number of eggs, so who knows.    My boss is completely ok with me taking off as much time as needed, so that’s really good and a load off my mind.  Otherwise, I’m just hanging out.  J practiced with the large needle on an orange, so he says he’s ready to give me the trigger shot (up until now, I’ve done all my injections).  I’m nervous, but one way or another we’ll get it done!

I guess it’s really happening!  Now I’m in the countdown to egg retrieval!

Much love,
K.

IVF Stims, Day Four and Five

Day Four of stims went well!  Same old, same old.  I must have nicked something on my thigh during my Menopur shot, because I bruised (first bruise yet).  Overall, I felt pretty good about it!

Day Five – I haven’t stimmed yet, but I did have my first monitoring appointment this morning!  So far, 16 follicles, ranging in size from 6mm to 17mm.  So, tonight I am decreasing the Follistim to 100iu (down from 150iu), and the same dosage for Menopur (150iu).  Then, because my follicles are so large, I will start Ganirelix tonight.

As for trigger, the nurse thinks that I will trigger on Sunday, with an egg retrieval on Tuesday, so the days are really counting down!  I am getting ready for this to get on the move, but also slightly nervous.  Hopefully the Ganirelix shot goes smoothly, tonight!

Much love,
K.

IVF Stims, Day Three

Well, Day Three of stims has come and gone.  I’m finally over the fear that the Menopur is going to burn…it hasn’t so far, so I doubt it’s going to start now.  It’s amazing to me how I started this whole process absolutely terrified of having to do shots daily, to thinking that I was going to have to force J to do it for me, and now to not thinking anything about the injections and doing it myself.  I knew I wanted to try to do the injections myself from the get-go, but was worried that I wouldn’t be able to.  Thankfully, it has been SO EASY to do.  It’s shocking, honestly, but I feel like a total badass now!

So, while the injections themselves have gone really well, I have realized that the other physical aspects are less than stellar.  I am tired EXHAUSTED all the time, my abdomen feels twingy often (that had better mean everything is growing as it should be), and my headaches are raging.  I woke up this morning feeling like I’d been hit by a bus!  I’m not sure if I’m coming down with a cold or what, but if this is how I feel after three days of stims, I can’t imagine how I’m going to feel after day 10 or even day 12!

But, all in all, I have my eye on the prize.  So far, this aspect of IVF has gone much better than I was expecting, and I’m very thankful for that.  I’m slightly nervous about egg retrieval, because I have no idea what to expect after the procedure, but if it’s been anything like the rest of this process, I’ll build it up to be absolutely horrible in my head and then it won’t be so bad.  At least, that’s my hope.

That’s all, for now!

Much love,
K.

IVF Stims, Day Two

Day Two went about as well as Day One.  After injecting the Follistim on the first evening, I had some bleeding when I pulled out the needle, but last night it didn’t bleed at all.  I must have nicked a vein or something the first time around.

Again, the Menopur went in just fine…no burn.  I did have a bit of a bump under the skin after that injection, but it seems to have gone away by this morning.

Overall, the injections seem to be going really well!  I’m much more comfortable with everything, but the HCG shot is still concerning.  I know for sure I can’t do that one, and J isn’t super comfortable with injections, so I might have to outsource that one to a friend who’s done this before.  We’ll see.

Even though the injections are going really well, I have a feeling the stim weight is going to start coming on.  I’m up 2 pounds from last week, which could be due to just the weekend and eating out (which I’m hoping), or it could be due to the stims.  I am seriously hoping that it’s just the regular weekend weight…ugh.  I’ll keep you updated though!

Much love,
K.