Out with the Old, and In with the New

I realize that I’ve been a bit MIA from the blogging world.  I took a few months off from blogging…I wanted to give myself a chance to regroup, figure out where I wanted to take this blog, and give myself a break.  In the end, I am so glad I did it.  I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to put myself out there with certain aspects of my life, and I needed to decide how much I was comfortable sharing with the world.  While I never intended my blog to be solely based on the superficial aspects of my life, it’s incredibly nerve-wracking to determine just how much of your soul you’re willing to bare to the masses.  I needed to determine that line in the sand for myself, and the best way to do so was to just step away from it all.

2014 was a year of changes.   I spent a good portion of the year getting used to being back in the US and becoming comfortable in my career and relationships.  I can honestly say that I ended the year at a much better place than I started it, which is all anyone can ask for, I guess.  I also spent the year working on a happier and healthier me, which resulted in losing over 60 pounds and getting back to the weight I was in high school.  I’m healthier than I’ve ever been, but it’s taken a long time to get to this point.  Worth every minute, for sure.  The house has undergone several months of remodel, and while we’re not finished, we’re making progress.  I feel such a sense of ownership in this house, and it’s so satisfying knowing that my sweat and effort has gone into making it what it’s become.

But, just like anything in life, there was some bad interspersed with the good.  2014 brought with it a year of trying to conceive our first child, unsuccessfully. It brought with it visits and testing with specialists, and a diagnosis of unexplained infertility.  It brought heartache and frustration, both with the circumstances and my body, and we ended 2014 the same way we began it…still a family of 2 adults and 3 cats.  2014 taught me a lot about patience and struggling with the feeling that life isn’t fair (a good lesson for anyone, to be sure), and I’m still learning to be hopeful in the face of great sadness.  A part of me wanted to wrap myself in a cloak of denial, refusing to give voice to our struggles in the hopes that it would all just magically go away.  Obviously, that didn’t happen, and I got tired of feeling like I was hiding a large part of what had become my life.  So…while it won’t be the focus of all my blog posts, or even the majority, I’ll probably talk about it from time to time.

But, today marks a new year.  I have so many hopes and dreams for 2015.  I want to work on being even healthier, and continue running and picking up mileage.  I want to finish our bathroom and basement remodel, and show the world the fruits of all our hard labor.  I want to become a mother, or at least get pregnant, and finally expand our family.  Of course, these are only a few of my goals, but to sit here and name them all would probably bore you to tears.  Besides…these are the big ones, so there you go.

So…here’s to a new year.  Out with the old, and in with the new.  I wish you all the very best for 2015…may your year be full of happiness and laughter, and may your year finish even better than it started.

Much love,
K.

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