Valentine’s Day

Oh Valentine’s Day. The Hallmark holiday designed to make the vast majority of people feel inadequate because either a) you’re single, or b) your significant other didn’t live up to expectations on what they “SHOULD” have done. It’s a day that rivals the complexity of walking through a minefield, blindfolded and deaf. Basically, it’s a day designed to be full of love, hearts, and romance…and winds up being anything but for a lot of people.

Now, many of you are probably reading this and thinking, “DAYAM! What happened to this chick to make her so bitter!?” I can only reassure you, nothing happened to me, I’m not a bitter hag, and you don’t need to feel bad for my husband. I’ve actually never had any sort of problems with Valentine’s Day, but I have been around the block or two and listened to more than one of my girlfriends complain about the day and what it represents/lacks. So…this is all based on my observations, not so much personal experience.

J is actually pretty good at the whole Valentine’s Day. But then again, I’m pretty clear on what I expect, so the follow-through really isn’t hard. I actually think this is probably the most important thing I’ve learned in my relationship with J. Clear expectations…he can’t read my mind, so why should I be angry with him for things that he has no idea I even want? I don’t expect much, but what I do expect I am sure to communicate. It’s the same every year. I expect a card. Doesn’t have to be sweet, doesn’t have to be romantic. It could be ugly as sin. But I expect a card with a real message on it, one that required a bit more thought than just signing his name. And really, that’s it. That’s all I ask. Honestly, if the man can’t follow through with that, then I don’t know what to tell him. But, so far, so good.

This year, J will be traveling for work during Valentine’s Day. He’ll be overseas, and it’s really not a big deal. If there’s one thing we never do, we NEVER go out and celebrate Valentine’s Day ON Valentine’s Day. It’s too busy, too crowded, and too hyped up. No thanks, I’d rather sit on my couch and go out the weekend before or after. More low-key and our style. So, while J is away on work, I will be spending Valentine’s Day with a friend, eating sushi while sitting on the couch in our pajamas, watching movies. I’m actually really looking forward to it, and I know we’ll have a great time.

But, I will admit, I’ve had J’s Valentine’s Day gift ready for nearly a month. One thing I LOVE doing is giving gifts. I get a lot of joy out of it, and it makes me happy! So, I do it often. I got J a really cute coupon book that I got a Groupon for, from Datevitation. They print it out for you, and send it to you in the mail, and then you just give it! You can customize your coupons to any of their options (and they have a lot), and you can even upload your own photos for the faces of the characters. I didn’t really do that, because it seemed creepy, but it was definitely an option.

On top of that…I got him a card. Like I said…we don’t really go big for the holidays. What’s important to us are the gifts that come from the heart, and we try our best to gift each other “experiences” rather than things. So, the coupon book made it really easy, because I could easily gift J fifteen different “experiences” for when he wants to cash them in! And while I won’t be able to give it to him on Valentine’s Day, I’ll probably give it to him when he gets back, so he can really start thinking about when he wants to use them.

Otherwise, that’s it. Nothing elaborate, nothing over the top. We’re laid back people, so it fits us really well. Now, would I turn down a trip to Paris, France, if he ever decided to surprise me? Oh hell no! But, I don’t expect it, and honestly, I doubt he’d ever think of it. Lol, but that’s ok. I love him just how he is, analytical mind and all.

What about you guys…any Valentine’s Day plans on the agenda?

Much love,



2 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day

  1. Love this post. I agree in communication your needs. But what would happen if he didn’t get you a card if you communicated that to him? Yeah…I’ve been in that boat and it made me feel like crap. It’s not about the gifts or cards or flowers. It’s about doing one small thing to show you care. Even a handwritten note is fine. So just curious how you would handle it if he didn’t get you a card a couple years in a row 🙂

    • Honestly, I have no idea…it’s never happened. If it happened once, odds are he’d feel like an ass because I was disappointed and it wouldn’t happen again. But, we’d probably talk about it and I’d find out if there was something that prevented him from following through. If there was and it’s legit, then no biggie. If it was the fact that he just never got around to it, then yeah…I’d be pissed and hurt. But so far (keeps fingers crossed), it hasn’t happened. I’m sorry that it’s happened to you though, that’s crap! Hopefully this year is better!

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